What did you first see in the above image? Do you see two old people, a man and a woman? Or did you see a young man and a woman on the streets of Mexico? Did you look at the picture again? Did you see it change right before your eyes? Funny how things change like that, or how different people see things differently.
Have you ever watched your life, your personality, change? That’s been happening to me this year. All of the sudden I am watching myself change, without much effort, it’s just happening. It’s almost like watching from outside of me.
I have never liked change. I am black and white. I like stability and to know when things are happening and don’t you dare change them on me. I dislike chaos. Now, I am not so bad that I have to stick to a schedule or anything, though I do like checklists and other lists. I just like order in my life. I have never wanted change, or changed what I wanted. When times of life come where the only consistency is change, well, I just feel lost. And usually stressed.
So, with so much change going on this year, it’s crazy that I have been able to accept it as well as I have. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my times, but I’m doing pretty good.
I have moved 5 times that I can remember, one was a state move. I don’t like moving. But, what are we getting ready to do again? Move. Even though we had hoped our most recent move would be our last, I am somehow okay with moving again. Now, the packing… that I am not sure I can speak so kindly of…
As of the last month, I am finally learning to drive. I put it off for 3 whole years, because I just knew I wasn’t ready, much unlike my 16 year old brother who got is permit one month into being 15 (I actually got my permit the same day) or my 13 year old sister who would get her permit now, if she could. Funny thing is, the first time I drove after admitting to being ready to learn, I actually felt very comfortable driving. (Parents, if you have a strange child who does not want to drive right away, IT’S OKAY. It’s probably for the best, and may give less chance for an accident.)
I have always been scared to get a real job. I stink at math, what if I am not smart enough to give change? I am an introvert, what if I don’t have good enough people skills? I hurt my back, so I can’t lift heavy items. What if I am just not good enough? That has been my fear for a long time. But, guess what? Suddenly I am ready to get a job. (I still am worried about my poor math skills. Lol.) I am just trusting that they will train me well and that God will have me in just the right place, in just the right time.
My personality has also changed. I feel happier. I have always been a pessimist (still am, gotta work on that), therefore resembling Eeyore a lot of the time. But, I feel happier than I have in a long time. I feel more confident in talking to people. Yes, I am a quiet person. I don’t think I can change that. To get me to talk, you have to talk to me first most of the time. I just think ALL the time. Constantly thinking. But, I feel more confident. I am not afraid to stand up for the things I believe in. I am passionate. When I am passionate about something, I am full force.
Something pretty crazy I wasn’t ever sure would change is my relationship with my middle sister. We did not start off well. I don’t know if I was jealous, or what. (It’s me, then my brother, then her and two other sisters under her.) There is a 5 year age difference between her and I. We NEVER got along. I cannot remember one time we ever were friends. Since we let it continue for so long, I did not want to work at it to change it. We can both be very stubborn. I just did not want to have anything to do with fixing it. It felt pointless to me. Well, again, all of the sudden, this year, it kinda just changed without either of us trying. (I am kinda glad that’s the way it happened.) I think the change started coming because we both have been maturing. Me, slowly becoming an adult, and her (still hard for me to admit) becoming a young woman. I’m not saying that we’re done, we’re not best friends, and still have a lot to work at, but things are definitely very different.
Are you willing to accept the changes He has for you? They may not be as big and obvious as mine have been, but they’ll still be changes. Not very many humans like change. What changes have you already been through this year?
Just like that picture above, there is a bigger picture that will be coming in sight as we grow older. Are you ready?