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Category Archives: Random Thoughts

It’s Been A While

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I’m sorry guys! It’s been forever, hasn’t it? I’ve been pretty busy. In the time since I last wrote we moved, but in a way, we’re not settled. We have unpacked and all, but there’s still stuff to be handled. I sold Lady and Jazzy, because it was only feasible to keep one horse since I would have to board. Rivver has the best possible home that she could have without living with me. She is only a few minutes down the road and I see a her at least once a week. She isn’t as clingy as she used to be, but she still gets excited to see me. She’s 7 months old now. I can’t believe it.

I got my license, finally. *insert clapping sounds* I also managed to snag my dream job! I haven’t officially started yet, but I am looking forward to mucking stalls and getting paid for it!

This winter we have already had 3 snows! We’re just grateful that it isn’t an ice storm like we typically get. Snow seems to melt a bit faster. And we haven’t lost power.

2013 was a very DIFFERENT year for us. It wasn’t the typical year. I’m not sure what a typical year is, but 2013 wasn’t it. It’s sort of ironic. In the beginning of 2013 we had all complained that 2012 had been a boring year and nothing exciting had happened. We wanted 2013 to be much more eventful, and boy it was! Just not quite in the way we had hoped. I do have high hopes for this year though, not sure what or why, I just feel pretty good about it.

Top 13 Events of 2013

  • Became a Whovian.
  • Was in a wedding for the first time as a bridesmaid.
  • Cantered Lady bareback.
  • Met some British people.
  • My cousin became a believer!
  • Rivver was born!
  • Turned 18.
  • Got Rivver to come in the house.
  • Watched the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who.
  • Started an all natural skin care company. (See more below)
  • Got my license.
  • Got a job.
  • Watched Matt Smith regenerate.
  • I recently started a small business creating all natural body care products, Eagle Falls. Check me out! You can also like me on Facebook, Eagle Falls Body Care, or on Twitter @eagle_falls. I’ve got 5 scents of whipped body butter for you to check out! Peppermint Rain, Butterfly Kisses, Whispering Oak, Sweet Almond and Spiced Orange!

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    Faith Without Borders

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    I love this song. Take the time to read the lyrics. πŸ™‚ I attached a Youtube video link (my link to text thingy isn’t working) so you can hear how beautiful it is.

    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Ddy9nwe9_xzw

    “Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) by Hillsong United

    You call me out upon the waters
    The great unknown where feet may fail
    And there I find You in the mystery
    In oceans deep
    My faith will stand

    And I will call upon Your name
    And keep my eyes above the waves
    When oceans rise
    My soul will rest in Your embrace
    For I am Yours and You are mine

    Your grace abounds in deepest waters
    Your sovereign hand
    Will be my guide
    Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
    You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

    So I will call upon Your name
    And keep my eyes above the waves
    When oceans rise
    My soul will rest in Your embrace
    For I am Yours and You are mine

    Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
    Let me walk upon the waters
    Wherever You would call me
    Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
    And my faith will be made stronger
    In the presence of my Savior
    [x6]

    I will call upon Your Name
    Keep my eyes above the waves
    My soul will rest in Your embrace
    I am Yours and You are mine

     
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    Posted by on October 24, 2013 in Random Thoughts, Uncategorized, Worldview

     

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    Through Clouded Eyes

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    When was the last time you cried?

    Did you grow up believing that crying was a sign of weakness as a friend of mine did?

    Let me tell you something. It’s not. To cry is to let go of the pride holding back the emotions inside. Perhaps crying is not a sign of weakness, but in fact, a sign of strength.

    I have cried quite a bit this year. Sometimes not with physical tears, but I can feel it inside.

    There are so many reasons we cry.

    I have cried out of fear.
    I have cried out of uncertainty, out of missing a sense of steadiness.
    I have cried out of conviction, as Wednesday night sermons have been preached.
    I have cried out of worship, as I feel the Spirit of God moving.
    I have cried out of disappointment in myself.
    I have cried out of worry and fear for the young girls on Instagram that are cutting or suicidal.
    I have cried out of desire.
    I have cried out of frustration.
    I have cried out of sheer, overwhelming hormones. πŸ˜›
    I have cried out of confusion.
    I have cried out of surprise.
    I have cried out of love.
    I have cried out of anger.
    I have cried through movies.
    I. Have. Cried.

    Have you?

    Crying is a release, a way to peace. It brings us to our knees. It brings us back to God, back to where we belong. Have you noticed how sleepy you get after a good cry? Maybe that’s a sign of the rest that we need. We need to take a break. Take a break from worry, from fear, from frustration, from disappointment, from anger.

    Go ahead, cry. I have Kleenex.

     
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    Posted by on October 9, 2013 in Random Thoughts, Worldview

     

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    When Does Age Come Before Beauty?

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    “At what age do you consider someone old?” This question was posed one time at the dinner table. The answers varied greatly, from the 7 year old saying 20, to the middle children saying 50-60, to my answer of 70-75. What would you say?

    My mom has this soapbox about how old men are often ignored, but always have some story, and often they are war tales. You know, everyone loves Si. He’s an old man who always has a “‘Nam” story ready to be told. Why is that we listen to Si’s crazy stories, regardless of their validity, but we don’t ever listen to the tales that the men in our community have to tell?

    I have this recent thing about old people, I supposed you could call it a soapbox. I’m not sure why I have been paying so much attention to the gray-haired folks around me lately, but something I have noticed is that they typically get treated like they are 5. It’s sad. They have lived a much longer life than those who are treating them so. Yes, they may have Dementia, a broken hip or poor vision. We think of them as living in a nursing home, putting together puzzles and eating jello or sitting in an old church wearing big hats and perfume that is overwhelming and singing hymns. Some are, but have you ever seen a group of elderly woman sitting in Schlotzky’s playing Bridge and talking about burping and farting? I have. Have you ever listened to the old men in McDonald’s eating breakfast, talking about their farms and gossiping about their wives? I have. Have you ever ran into an 80 something year old in the restroom joking about the stupid paper towel dispenser? I have. These people have personality. They are not helpless babes. They have lived a life! And more of a worthwhile life than we have.

    Is it possible we could treat them as we treat those who are 50 years younger? In fact, could we go beyond that and treat them better? After all, they are you. They were once your age. Treat them the way you want people to treat them when you are putting puzzles together in the nursing home while eating jello. Maybe we can change the way the world sees “old people.”

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    Posted by on September 13, 2013 in Random Thoughts

     

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    Dear Friend…

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    Dear Friend,

    I hope you realize I am referring to you. πŸ™‚ I won’t post your name, for privacy’s sake, but I think you know who you are. Another comment from you came through my email today. Everytime I see “__________ commented on your post.” I get all giddy. See, I am terribly good at putting myself down. I have a very guilty conscience. It’s rare I ever actually feel good at something.

    I remember one of the first times I rode a horse. I was probably about 6. My AWANA teacher learned how much I loved horses and invited me over to her house to ride her horses Pal and Carlos. I had ridden maybe 1 or 2 times before, but never by myself. I was ecstatic. I got to ride both horses, Pal first, then Carlos. When I rode Pal she told me I was a natural. I have never forgotten that. Other people told me that in the future as well, but the first time, by a person I loved and respected, had the most impact on me. (On a short little side note, when I rode Carlos I got in a little trouble. I decided I wanted to go faster! So, I gave Carlos a little kick. Just a little one so nobody would notice. He started to trot. It wasn’t long before the husband was over taking the reins in hand and talking about how naughty Carlos had been. I never mentioned I kicked him.)

    That may seem a little off subject, but horseback riding and writing are the only things I have really ever felt good at. Although, I am fairly confident in both, I have MANY days that I don’t feel good at all. It usually happens when I see someone better than me riding, or after reading an excellent author’s writing. Looking back on my own, I feel horrible. I think sometimes that we are also afraid to admit we’re good. We’re afraid that other’s will see us as prideful. Of course, if we aren’t careful, it becomes pride very quickly.

    In a roundabout way, my point is that we all still need encouragement sometimes. Just a simple, “You’re good at this.” would certainly suffice! And you my friend, are excellent at this. πŸ™‚ I’ll never understand how a random person could make you feel so confident. I don’t even know what you look like, or how old you are, or anything. (I hope you are who you say you are. I believe so, but on the Internet you never know, sadly.) I feel, however, like if I met you that you would be the kind of person who would share an embrace, and neither of us would feel uncomfortable or weird. You have a warm and welcoming personality. You say I am an encouragement to you and that you enjoy my writings, but, dear friend, I think perhaps that you have encouraged me more than I you. πŸ™‚ Your comments typically either bring a large smile to my face (which doesn’t happen often) or tears to my eyes. Haha, in fact, sometimes, when I haven’t written for a while, I think, “Oh! ______ must be missing my posts! She’s waiting for another one! I need to write again for her.” Now, of course, you’re not the only one I write for. I write to hopefully draw people to seek the love I have found in Christ. But you keep me going. I appreciate you.

    “May the Lord bless you and protect you, may He smile on you and be gracious to you, may He show you His favor and give you His peace.” -Numbers 6:24-26

     
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    Posted by on August 25, 2013 in Random Thoughts

     

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    To Drive or Not to Drive

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    To drive or not to drive? That was the question 3 years ago. Most 15 year old girls are super excited to get their permits so they can start their path to freedom. Not me. I had Mom to transport me around, and when she couldn’t, Grandma could. I felt 15 was too young to be on the road. Not to mention I was terrified. Terrified of learning, terrified of getting in a wreck. Just scared. So, I made the decision to not learn yet. I just knew that was not ready.

    It drove me crazy that my Dad and my grandparents were always down my neck asking me if I wanted to go out and practice. I felt pushed. It also got on my nerves when other kids or adults were surprised I wasn’t driving yet. I felt that people were not understanding that I was not ready. Mom understood that I was waiting for a reason, that I knew what was best and I would tell them when I was ready.

    I did get my permit eventually, just for a form of ID. I think I was 16. I actually took the test the same day that my 15 year old brother took it. I missed the allotted 5 questions, Hunter missed 4.

    The very few times I did drive I was extremely tense and uncomfortable. My younger brother was learning a lot faster.

    Recently, Mom brought up several times that she really was beginning to wish I could drive. I started to realize that maybe it was time. Funny thing, when I started driving this time I am a million more times comfortable driving. It wasn’t the practice, because I hadn’t had much. It was the fact that I waited until I was ready. I still have a lot to learn and I still make mistakes, but I am excited to get my license in a few months. So, yes, I was a weird kids who waited until I was ready to start learning at 17/18, but it worked out for the best. Oh, I might mention that I learned in a 15 passenger van…

    I also have a great first car to get me there. πŸ™‚

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    Posted by on August 19, 2013 in Random Thoughts

     

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    Silently Screaming

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    We were watching Duck Dynasty, but we only caught the last few minutes of it. Soon, another show was on. It was bad enough that the first few words out of the guy on camera’s mouth were cuss words. I asked for whoever had the remote to change the channel. They didn’t hear me. So, I continued to watch as a box on a forklift labeled “FRAGILE” was lowered to the ground. Halfway to the ground the box opened up and a long item wrapped in bubble wrap fell out. It didn’t take me long to realize what it was. I quickly shut my eyes and my pleas for turning it off get much more urgent.

    We all have THAT fear. The one that makes you feel cold and hot at the same time. The one that makes you want to throw up and wet your pants. The one that is your worst nightmare. (I honestly hope your’s isn’t spiders. Sincerely sorry if it was. 😦 ) See, I am a necrophobic and I usually say that with no explanation, leaving people to Google it for themselves, because even talking about it makes my face feel hot and my body break into a cold sweat. Let’s just say that it would be my worst nightmare to walk into a morgue. You couldn’t pay me a million bucks to do so. Or to come across the victim of a murder. Now, there are other, smaller things I am afraid of, like heights or the dark or snakes, but necrophobia is my worst. My family all likes to watch shows like NCIS, CSI, Criminal Minds, etc. I have to leave the room.

    I remember the first time I went to a funeral. I was 15, so I should have been plenty old enough. Mom and Dad wanted all us kids to go, especially since we didn’t know the man. No one knew it was an open casket. We walked in, I saw the casket and my hands instantly got clammy. We sat down, towards the back, because Mom figured then we wouldn’t be able to see. I realized much too quickly that the church sloped downward. The further back you were, the higher you were. I could see his plasticky face perfectly. I kept my eyes down at my feet, feeling like I might pass out at any moment and trying not to hyperventilate. Mom asked us each how we were. She got to me and I couldn’t talk. She asked if I was sad, I spoke my head. She asked if I wanted to go down and see him. Even though I knew I probably should, that maybe it would solve my fear, I just couldn’t. I was feeling very sick. I started crying because she wasn’t getting it. She finally told me to go out to the van. I left. She came out later and talked with me. I tried to explain, but she wasn’t quite getting it. She thought I was having a hard time with death. She explained that it’s just a shell now. I was like, “Don’t you get that that’s what I am afraid of?” I can handle a funeral as long as it’s closed casket, or a memorial service. I just have to not be able to see anything.

    Why are we sometimes drawn to what terrifies us? Why do people watch movies that make them scream? Why is fear entertaining? Sometimes I start to watch something I know I can’t, because it draws you in. You have to know whodunit, right? Well, yeah, it’d be hard to walk away because then you’d be left to your imagination, but at the same time, if you stay and let it suck you in, then you end up with nightmares. Therefore, I make the choice to leave the room immediately.

    Some fears, I believe, are conquerable. If you have a bout of butterflies before riding a scary roller coaster, sometimes you can ride it and when you’re done feel like it was no big deal and wonder why you were scared of it in the first place! Or singing on stage.

    Some fears are irrational. You might be afraid of dolls, or of having your picture taken, or a fear of CGI robots (Yes, I am afraid of computer animated robots. I don’t know why. Not a fan of the movie Robots. LOL) or even a person with OCD’s fear of unevenness.

    Some fears are healthy fears. A fear of Hell. A fear of car crashes. A fear of evil. A fear of sharks. A fear of terrorists. A fear of the unknown.

    Sometimes I lay in bed, unable to fall asleep, afraid to close my eyes. I just have to remind myself of a few things.

    1. That God does everything for a reason. Everyone has a time to die. Some may be murdered, some may die in their sleep or in a car accident. We don’t know, but if He has a time for everyone, then I have to trust that no one is going to break in to my house and murder my family if that’s not what he has planned. And if that is what is supposed to happen, well, He has some sort of eternal purpose for it. It’s already planned, He knows how each of us will die, but, if we’re Believers in Him, then we have no reason to worry about what is on the other side of life.

    2. That He is the ultimate source of comfort, protection and peace. He calmed the waters. He told us not to fear. He is with us when we walk though the valleys of death. We all have a purpose in life and He will take us only when we have fulfilled that purpose.

    3. That He has already won the war over evil. Yes. The world is awful. It is chock full of evil. Adam and Eve really screwed up. The world is scary. It really is. But good always wins over evil and someday, God WILL win the ultimate Good vs. Evil war.

    This was kind of an uncomfortable post to write, so I hope it benefitted someone. πŸ™‚

     
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    Posted by on August 5, 2013 in Random Thoughts

     

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